Masturbation 101
#MasturbationMay is finally here folks! Whether you’re in a relationship or not, masturbation can be so so beneficial for you. Here are some tips you should try in your solo sex endeavours.
1. Get Romantic
When I think masturbation, I picture one or two scenes from every Hollywood movie ever. First, we have the protagonist male, sitting in front of his desktop computer with a lotion bottle, going at it. The other is the girl that’s lying in bed under the covers, from an aerial view with nothing but a dulled vibration to be heard. Now, I'm not at all saying that every single time you masturbate there needs to be fireworks or strobe lights, but why not romanticize yourself the same way you do others before and during partnered sex? Try wearing lingerie, make yourself a fancy snack or meal, remove your clothing nice and slow. Make an event out of it.
2. Get Loud
During sex, our bodies are exposed to an abundance of sensations and stimulants that can lead to sounds being released that may not match what we’re experiencing internally. This can result in feelings of embarrassment or shame. This one might be hard to achieve if you don’t live alone, but I suggest moaning loudly and making all the noises you can. We tend to associate screams and grunts with distress or pain, but why not pleasure? Vocalizing while engaging in solo sex could give you the confidence you need to feel freer during sexual activities with others.
3. Pace & Edging
Typically, when masturbating, there’s this mentality of just “banging one out” and then going on about our day. We’re in such a rush to climax that we aren’t taking full advantage of all the benefits of touch. Try playing overtop of clothing and underwear to build up sexual tension. Slow down, speed up, and then back down again, try different stroke speeds, build up to back off. You could even try exploring other erogenous zones on your body when you feel yourself getting close to orgasm.
4. Lube
Using lube does not mean you are sexually inadequate. Read that sentence again. It’s great for heightening arousal, increasing pleasure, reducing discomfort, and can even extend the duration of sex. There are several types of lubes and oils out there and although you may have found one that works well for you, it doesn’t hurt to diversifying your palate and try something new.
*I’m personally a big fan of heated coconut oil, just don’t use it with condoms*
5. Kegels & Breathing
Kegel exercises have been known to improve sexual function, intensify orgasms, and strengthen your pelvic floor. Try clenching these muscles during play, holding for 10 seconds at a time. They’re the same muscles that pulse and contract when you climax, so they can make the difference!
During arousal, our muscles tend to tense up before the Big O. Try different techniques like deep breathing from your diaphragm and the back of your throat, through pursed lips, or Sitali breath. It’ll really help to get the oxygen circulating in your brain, all the way down to your genitals.
6. Switch it Up
We’re all creatures of habit in our own right, which can lead to staleness and minimal experimentation during solo sex. Switch up your environment - get in the tub, lay on the floor or just try a new position from the comfort of your bed. Consider manipulating your senses with a different scented candle, coloured lighting and a bangin’ new playlist.
7. Mirrors & Media
Not all porn is created equal or ethical. Sometimes the porn we watch can influence our actions during partnered sex and warp the perception of self, so it’s important to be mindful of the sexual media we’re consuming. Next time you decide to masturbate, set up a mirror nearby and explore your body with mindful touching. Watch how you react to the video being played. What is your genital response? What is most stimulating to you? Instead of getting caught in the twilight zone, this can help to keep you from becoming dissociative and contribute to building a conscious connection with your body and a healthy relationship with porn.
8. Always Pee Afterwards
I cannot stress this one enough which is why I saved the best for last! Go to the bathroom immediately after you finish. Peeing helps to cleanse the urethra of harmful bacteria and pathogens that can travel upwards causing UTIs and other unwanted infections. It doesn’t take long and you’ll be thankful you did.
I hope these tips help to enhance your masturbation experience. May the Month of May be erotic and delight.