CONSENT

⚠️ Content Warning: This post contains mentions of r*pe and sexual violence ⚠️

As children, we are taught to use our voices when someone is touching us in way that that they shouldn’t be. “No means no” and “don’t touch me there” were phases engrained into my memory from an early age. 

But, somewhere along the way our ability to set boundaries shifts. We suppress our needs for a plethora of reasons and even when they’re vocalized, they’re occasionally disregarded. There is no gray area when it comes to consent and the absence of a hard no, doesn’t mean yes. Consent isn’t always verbal but stating what you’re willing and won’t do can ensure that respect is present. 

The easiest way to remember consent, should you ever need one a refresher is with FRIES: 

F- Freely given

R – Reversible

I – Informed 

E – Enthusiastic 

S – Specific & safe 

What Consent Can Look Like:

·       Check-ins during sexual activity - “Are you ok?” “Do you like that?” “How does that feel?”

  • Physical cues and inviting body language to indicate that you would like to proceed

  • Discussing your “do, don’ts, and dry runs” prior to getting physical

  • Respecting your partner(s) when they want to stop

What Consent is NOT:

  • Power imbalances (coach/athlete, student/teacher, etc.) or when someone is under the legal age of consent

  • Coercive or manipulative

  • Blackmail or threatening

  • Persistently pressuring someone into engaging in sexual activity 

  • Intimation or evoking fear

  • Present when the parties involved are under the influence of drugs and alcohol

Physiological sexual responses are involuntary, so just because your body is reacting, doesn’t mean you’re consenting. If you’ve experienced raped or sexually violence, it is not your fault and you are never alone. If you are seeking support, please head to this website to find assistance in your province: resources.

 
Jeneka Jool